The fact that I could come up with a title for this beyond “uhhhh” is a testament to how far I have come recently.
I am going to write this. Put this out there. I have made a site that I am keeping fairly private {as in people have links, but not everyone, and I will never be linking it here. Ever. And if you try to post it in the comments here I will drop your comment like a hot potato} that I allow myself to discuss it on. So I am not sure how much I will be talking about it all here. Obviously it will be part of this space. But as with most things in life…one things affects everything.
I will try to keep this space neutral. But this post has to be written. Because this is now a part of my family.
Cody and I are getting a divorce.
The time frame on that, the details of it all…I am not ready to openly talk about. I will say, no, I didn’t expect this. This is such an incredibly difficult time for me right now. Sophia, of course, really doesn’t know much of a difference and goes about life blissfully ignorant. And I wouldn’t have her be any other way about what is going on.
But that is that. Since this happened I have received many e-mails, FB messages, texts, and tweets/DMs. I have told people as they asked for the most part. I have volunteered it to certain people with out them asking. But if you feel slighted or shocked by not knowing you should know that there were a lot of reasons. I think it was better that I was forced to bite my tongue in certain areas and make a place I could write with out holding back. I think it was healthy for me. It was smart for me. And in a world where we share everything with everyone every moment of every day. It was probably one of the best things I have done since this happened.
Anyways, there it is. I am trying to piece some sort of sanity back together in this storm. And that is what I will be doing. Piecing it all back together. Life. Family. Future. Things will be majorly changing in 2012. I don’t know exactly what is to come. But the word of 2012 is survive.
{ 48 comments… read them below or add one }
First of all, don’t feel like you need to explain the need to keep the details private, concentrate on your sweet girl and yourself (and the growing baby boy!). You seem like a very strong woman and with the help of your family/friends you will come out of this, you will survive and be happy again.
XOXO. You are strong, amazing, and a wonderful mother. You are remaining in my prayers.
We’re all here to hold you up and give you a shoulder. Sending you love, strength and many prayers.
oh, alena, please just do what’s best for you and your sweet family. just know that you will be in my prayers during this trying time. big hugs, mama! & many, many sweet thoughts.
I’m so very sorry to read this. Don’t feel like you owe anyone an explanation as to why you did or did not share this information with them. I’m never any good at saying something inspirational in times like this just know that I’ll be thinking of you.
I’ve thought about you every day since I heard. It’s hard to say much because I feel like anything I would say is so inadequate or petty. I just pray a lot for you and the kids, and even for Cody, as you start to find a new life, routine, and way as a mom. You are strong, I can’t imagine what these last few weeks have been like emotionally but I’m also so impressed by the way you’ve chosen to handle it. While recognizing your feelings. <3
I adore you – (1) for that title and (2) most importantly, for YOU! Hang in there and know that you are amazing!
I am soo sorry! Don’t ever feel you need to go into detail about this! This is a private moment for you and your family and no one needs to know this. You are a strong woman and you will SURVIVE. What kills you always, makes you stronger!
I love you. You are strong and amazing and beautiful and loved.
And I’m here for you… you know that.
For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you,plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs!
Hugs and love to you and yours during this time.
Alena,
I’m shocked and sorry and sad at the same time. This must be a very very rough time but you know how strong you are and how many other things you made it through! So keep your head up, there is new life growing inside you – def. worth fighting and never giving up! I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers!
Shoot. I was hoping that wasn’t what was going on
I’m so sorry, and I’m sending you lots of love and prayers. You’re an amazing woman, you know that? And if you need anything, I’m just an email away!
I’m so very sorry. Endings are always so sad. I know you are a strong woman.
No details needed…just know that you can find us on twitter/FB/anytime you just want to send something out there.
Best of 2012 to you…
Love you so much Alena. I’ve been thinking about you and praying for you every day.
Your life is your own. You owe no one an explanation. You will survive and you are cared about and thought about by many!
(((((()))))
:hugs: love you lady!
I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this. Stay strong. You will survive.
Hon, all I can say is that I know it isn’t easy. I’ve been to the brink and never saw it coming and now somehow I am no longer on that precipice but I’m still perilously closer to it than I would like. None of us knows what the future holds or why things happen as they do. What I can say is that in the short time I have known you I have come to know an amazing woman, one who is incredibly strong and determined, a woman dedicated to those she loves and cares about, a woman who would never intentionally hurt anyone but who would always do all she could to help those in need, even strangers. I am proud of you for the choices you have made because they are not easy ones, most of us would want nothing more than to immediately start an emotional vent session that would most likely end in a bad way, but you have managed to remain level-headed during a time of incredible turbulence in your life and that says a lot about you and your character. I am proud to know you and count myself as more than lucky for it. I believe God has a plan for us all and that He brings us into each other’s lives for a reason, and I believe that He never gives us a burden larger than we can handle if we will only allow Him to help us and lead us. I pray that He will be with you now and will guide your steps in the right course of action for everything, I pray that despite the negativity of the situation that you will be able to gain something positive from all of it. I know we don’t talk much, opening up isn’t an easy thing for me, but if you need anything at all, no matter how small, just give me a holler. I love y’all and am praying for you *HUGS*
Oh hun, I am so sorry to hear this! I will be thinking of you! xoxo
I know nothing I will say can make it better. But just know that there are a lot of people out here on the internet who care about you. I know this must be such a difficult realization, the timing of it all. But you are strong. You WILL get through this. (((hugs)))
Alena~ I applaud your courage, your strength and your ability to face this while keeping it private. You are in my thoughts and prayers and know that we are all here for you! Hang in there during this difficult time! Sophia is lucky to have mama who is as strong as you!
I’m so sorry, Alena. I too was hoping that wasn’t going on. I really have no words to help but if you need to email me and vent, I’m a good listener. Even though you don’t really know me, you’re still in my thoughts.
Ugh. I’m sorry. I hoped it wasn’t this, but I know you’ll get through this. I know I don’t really know you, but you’ve also come across as such a strong, resilient person that no matter how difficult this will be, you’ll get through it and continue to be a great mother to Sophia. Best of luck and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you work through this.
-Pam
oh, friend. You remain in my constant thoughts and prayers. You are amazing.
Brand new fan here (thanks to Alexandra up there for RT’ing you) who feels like a giant weirdo for making this the first comment I leave. But what the hell, here goes:
From a total stranger, I survived (with a 2 year old) and I have no doubt that you will too. Give yourself permission to go a little crazy and talk or don’t talk (scream and shout too) in whatever way you please. Nothing is supposed to make sense right now, but someday you’ll have a big picture that will. (I bought myself a sheet cake the day my divorce was final, and that kind of helped too)
All kinds of stranger love to you…hang on.
<3
Stay strong! I will be praying for you and your sweet family. Been there myself and it’s hard, but I believe you can do it.
Alena,
There are no words for this situation. Anything I would say would seem shallow and simple. But you are in my prayers every day. Each of your little ones and you and Cody. I love you and if there is ever a need I can help with I am here.
I’m in the middle of my own divorce so I feel your pain sister. You are a strong woman. Lots of hugs for you!
I am so sorry my friend. Big hugs. Lots of love and prayers poured over you, Sophia, and the little guy.
You are strong and amazing and you will get through this! I just know it deep down. Hugs to you my beautiful online friend. Great big crazy knock you over (but not really since your preggers) hugs.
I love you, friend.
You are a survivor and a damn amazing mama! Just remember you are never alone, look at all these amazing friends that have your back, including me!!
Hugs! Big Big hugs!
I am sorry and I am thinking of you.
I’m will be thinking of you. A million hugs…
holding you close in thoughts and prayers. you only have to share what you want about this. it’s personal and just because we’re bloggers and out there doesn’t mean we have to share every single detail of every single aspect of our lives. i’m glad though, that you’ve put this out there and hope you gain strength and support as you move forward this year.
Also? I wish you success not only with your word, survive, but also hope you THRIVE. (HUGS)
many of my thoughts r with you, my offer was sincere, u could come out here and stay with me and ill help you with the kids
Love and hugs to you!
Alena, you are in my thoughts…From someone who has been there, (my precious little girl was 3 at the time of my divorce), I know how very difficult it is. Stay strong, and if I can ever offer up any advice, please let me know.
Oh sweetie,
I am so sorry to hear this. My heart breaks for you. I can’t imagine how difficult this must be.
Even more so to share this.
I’ll send you some positive vibes. Of course you’re going to survive this. You kick ass.
Don’t forget that.
Hugs momma. xoxo
Know this, you are so very amazing and there is no doubt in my mind that you will come out even more amazing and stronger. But for now, it just sucks.
Xoxoxoxoxoxox
What a brave brave post! It’s so easy to blog and write and rattle off our brains when everything is going right, isn’t it? I’m so sorry you have to go through this. Know that you have a supportive system of friends no matter what! I think a separate space for venting is the best thing you could do. I did something similar when I just HAD to get something off my chest, but literally could not put it on my blog without risking my job. Now looking back I’m really glad I did that. Even though there were days I really wanted everyone to know. I’ll be thinking of your family and wishing you all the best!!
I am so sorry to hear this – thoughts and prayers for you!
I stumbled on your blog tonight somehow, but was drawn by the heading to divorce story. I went through that a little over a year ago. At the time, my son was 6 months old. He’s now 2. It was the right thing to do, but it was absolutely the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced. And it still can be pretty hard. The only bright spot was that God was absolutely closer and more personal to me than ever before. But it’s hard, and I feel for you, and I will be praying for you. You’re not alone.
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